Summer time is quickly approaching and I was recently reminiscing on some fond summer time memories. For almost as long as I can remember my summer days all consisted of the same thing, an hour of the Brady Bunch, two hours of Saved by the Bell, and an Atlanta Braves baseball game. All but one hour of my daily routine was viewed on the greatest cable station of all time, TBS. I willingly placed the bulk of my formative years in the hands of the man with the creepiest looking mustache in the world. Looking back now I should have been smart enough to question anyone with such a hideous display of male grooming. I thought that TBS was the greatest thing since Saturday morning cartoons. The hour of Saved by the Bell that I watched on WGN didn't seem to have the same sparkle as the hour on TBS. I have so many wonderful memories of the time that I spent fulfilling my daily routine.
But time has gone by and years have passed. As much as I would love to sleep in until noon and waste my life away watching hours of awesomely bad teen sitcoms and America's Team beat up on the Mets, I can't. Unfortunately I discovered the other day that I couldn't relive those glory days even if I wanted to. If I wanted to watch an hour of Saved by the Bell today I would have to get up at 4 in the morning. I didn't even know that 4am existed until I had kids. I thought that the hours between 12pm and 7am were part of some elaborate hoax. To voice my concern with this issue I called up Zack Morris on his insanely large, brick shaped cell phone and he wasn't very happy about being moved to the 4 am time slot. And catching a Braves game on TBS is about as easy as catching a Sasquatch playing mariachi music with a chupacabra in my backyard (If you don't know what a chupacabra is, Google it). Over the last few years they have greatly decreased the number of games broadcast on TBS. Then the other day I was scanning through channels and saw what I consider to be television heresy. A Major League Baseball game being broadcast on TBS in which neither of the teams playing were the Atlanta Braves. What the crap Ted Turner? That team made TBS what it is today. You have defiled everything that I hold dear from my childhood. Why have you done me wrong Ted?, why have you done me wrong?
Monday, April 7, 2008
What Did I Ever Do To You Ted Turner?
Posted by Aaron at 10:33 PM
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5 comments:
I know. Now on the TBS Sunday Game of the week there will be more Yankees and Red Sox games. That is horrible. We have been spoiled being able to watch the Braves almost anytime we wanted to. I am thinking of purchasing MLB.tv. Anyone want to go in with me on it? I am having withdrawals. I was able to see about 20 minutes of the Mets-Braves game on Saturday(I was lucky enough to see Johnson hit the Slam). I need more. Is there a support group for this? ABA(Atlanta Braves Anonymous) If not I think I will start one. Ted Turner probably got sick of all the mail Suzie was sending to have them remove the games so he finally caved.
"Saved By the Bell" is what has made me the man I am today. I learned all my life skills, other than the ones I learned at church and in scouts, by modeling my actions after the studliest boy who ever set foot in a high school with only one classroom, one hallway, and two cheerleaders. His every move was studied and practiced so that I could repeat them flawless if a similar situation every presented itself in my life. Screech was the man!!!!
Go D-Backs!!!
I'm sure you guys are aware but Ted Turner sold all of us Braves fans out a long time ago when he he caved into to TimeWarner. This spelled doom and gloom for the Braves. Now they are owned by another conglomerate Liberty Media who seems to be a little less stingy with the payroll. Re-sign TEX!!!
Not having cable I don't have to be exposed to the shameful atrocity that has become MLB on TBS. One word: Sacrilege!
And leave it to Ben, the ULTIMATE BANDWAGGONER to drop the DBACKs into this BLOG. Don't be surprised when you get written out of the will and Scott drapes the largest Atlanta Braves banner on his property to obstruct any view you think you might have had. So when you move to another state are you gonna start liking their team, too? It's anti-mormon to NOT love the Braves. Doesn't the name Dale Murphy mean anything to you? (I actually had a dream I met him once. One of the coolest dreams ever.)
Hey Ben, ASU baby! Take that!
Let me take a moment to honor the dearly fallen Braves from the graces of the Sunday...okay I'm done. Those darn Yankees are just taking over everything. :) While you are all grieving over snacks on Sundays, I will be enjoying the games. Tough break boys.
I don't bandwagon and Sacrilege is cheering for ASU even if it is just out of spite. There is a reason why their mascot is the sun DEVIL. ASwho? Go Cats!!!
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